The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You are the jesus of drinking
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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