I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize