do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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