I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
