problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
