I must be too annoying 4 u.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
