Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
