I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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