I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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