So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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