Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
