"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
