Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
