We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
they need to just BURY HIM!
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
