I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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