how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She needs sedatives and a leash
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
