Can i not drive my cunt home
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
