That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
