just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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