i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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