it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
