Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
