Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
