the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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