I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
pray to the hookup gods
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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