I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
