Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
