when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
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I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?