im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
