Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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