i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize