I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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