it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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