Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize