i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
