I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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