Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my sisters under your porch take her home
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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