that's an acceptable place to lick
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
