I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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