I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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