white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
