thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize