Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
