pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
