we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
