hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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