Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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