The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize