wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
