she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
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Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
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Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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