she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
