i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
