your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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