I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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