Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
