How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
