im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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