is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
