idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
