I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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