made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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