i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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