She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
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I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
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So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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