I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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