I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
